In September 2016 I finally woke up. This was the month I started my personal development journey. At this point in my life I felt like I was sleep walking, lost, in the middle of no where with happiness getting farther and farther away. Let me explain…
Prior to this change, I was working a job I absolutely hated…it was soul sucking to say the least. I grew up in Southern California and, if you know anything about SOCAL, it takes DECADES to drive anywhere because of the traffic. Well, at the time, I was living about 40 minutes away from this job…at least it should’ve been a 40 min. drive…however, in traffic? it was no less than 2 hours. Dreadful right? Anyways, I was working full time for an insurance company out in the LA County area and because of the drive being so long, I decided to take the train for most of my commute. So with that being said, this is what my weekdays looked like for almost a year…
4:00am – Wake up & get ready for work.
5:15am – Leave my house to the train station.
6:00am – Arrive at the train station & park my car…sleep in my car until the 7:00am train
7:00am – Hop on the train.
7:35am – Arrive in my city & walk 5 blocks to my office.
7:50am – Prep for my day at the office with my start time at 8:00am
5:00pm – Walk 5 blocks back to the train station to go home.
5:25pm – Hop on the train towards home.
6:00pm – Get to my car and drive in traffic the rest of my commute home.
6:45pm – (If I had time this was where I went to the gym, if not I was home by this time)
8:00pm – Dinner, Sleep, Repeat.
Just typing that made me nauseous. I had to be up 4 hours before I even started work just to make it early enough to the train station to park my car. 4 HOURS! WHO DOES THAT?California is so impacted that if I arrived at the train station any later than 6:15am, I would not find a parking spot and would be at risk with parking on the street and either getting towed or getting a ticket. What an absolute nightmare right?
Needless to say, this alone was pushing me to change my life. I couldn’t bare it anymore. The job itself was the most boring job I have ever experienced and I needed out. Not to mention, this was a lonely time for me. I didn’t really have a social life because I was to busy having a full day of commuting and working and was to tired to go anywhere or hang out with anyone. On top of it, all my friends lived in the Orange County area which would mean….more commuting. My body was tired & I was becoming unhealthy. As much as I tried to say yes to social gatherings when it was on the weekends…it was rare. I found myself instead of going to the gym after work because of how tired I was…I would go through a drive thru and sit at home…at my parents house…alone…stuff my face…and wait until I had to repeat my routine all over. It was a never ending vicious cycle.
It was becoming more and more clear to me how unhealthy I was making my life. Not only with my diet choices but with the lack of sleep, the stress from my job and my commute, the unhappiness I carried with me all day because of my situation, etc…oh how the list can go on. IT NEEDED TO CHANGE. For some reason, as the months went by I kept giving myself excuses. I would look up schools to start my education again & then would never follow up. I would make up excuses that I needed the money or an event was happening soon so I couldn’t quit my job right away. I was telling myself I was to tired to move my body and was feeding it unhealthy options and becoming…soft to say the least. & so on and so forth. I knew I was doing this to myself but for some reason I was letting it happen. I was DONE.
September of 2016 my family and I were excited to embark on our first family trip to Cancun. I was so excited to just leave and reset my brain, spend time with my family, lay by the beach, and start fresh. I told myself before leaving the airport early that morning that I would make this the trip that meant something. Meaning, I had every intention of saying YES to any fun opportunity that came my way and live this vacation like it was my last. I wanted to push myself past my comfort zone and dive into anything and everything that was thrown at me.
Going into it with this mindset was probably the best decision I have ever made because it brought me to a place where my eyes were opened to the signs of the universe. Something I wasn’t seeing before because of how blinded I was from all the negativity I was allowing to affect my life. So, we’re in the airport, waiting for our flight & I decided to kill some time in one of the gift shops. Just your typical airport gift shop with neck pillows, snacks, souvenirs, books, clothing, etc. & in the corner of my eye…this little yellow book strikes my attention. It reads, You are a BADASS by Jen Sincero. I thought to myself…that looks interesting. When I walked over to read the back I noticed instantly it was one of those self help books. I was NOT interested. At the time, I never took self care or self help seriously. However, as I walked around the store…it was like the universe was shining a light from above directly on the book because it was ALL I COULD SEE. I kept thinking about it as I walked around…left the store with nothing but a water bottle and sat in my chair by the boarding gate. I just couldn’t get it out of my head, why? I ended up pulling it up online on my phone and reading some reviews on the book & wow, were they amazing. I bit my tongue & said to myself, “you know what, what am I going to loose? Why not? I have nothing to read on this long flight anyways, might as well!”
The moment I started reading this book on the plane…I was speechless. I read through 7 chapters alone on the flight and finished it within the week of my vacation. It was everything I needed to hear in that moment of my life. It completely changed the way I viewed the world. Little did I know that this self help, spirituality, and self loving book gave me the push to change my life for the better. Something was clearly telling me to buy it & I’m SO glad I did. (thank you universe, i see you!) This book taught me to get out there and be the person my soul has been trying to get me to be. It has taught me to live each day in gratitude and bring forth positive energy and inspiration to everyone I meet. It has taught me to love myself and everyone in my life & that I can be and do anything I want with this gift of life that I was given. It has taught me to love my body and my soul and has given me the push to open my mind to something so much greater.
During my trip I did things I have never done before like, early morning yoga and meditation on the beach, I pushed myself in various workout classes they offered, I zip lined through a jungle, drove a catamaran and snorkeled in the crystal blue water just off the Rivera Maya, even though there was food around 24 hours of the day I kept my diet clean and healthy, and I swam with the dolphins. Things I didn’t know I could do or would ever do, I did! I surprised myself with my own capabilities and was able to accomplish the one goal I had set for myself going into that trip. Not only did that feel nothing short of amazing, but I FELT nothing short of amazing. My body was just working the way it was supposed to! Feeding it healthy food, working out each day I was there, meditating, etc. It was like not only did my mind wake up but my body followed and I was so grateful!
“When you are consistently in a state of gratitude, and aware of all the awesomeness that already exists, it, among many other things, makes it much easier for you to believe that there’s more awesomeness where that came from, and that this yet-to-be-manifested awesomeness is also available to you. You’ve received awesomeness before, so of course, you can receive awesomeness again. This is how gratitude strengthens your faith. And having strong faith is a major key in transforming your life.” – Jen Sincero
This quote from the book really resonated with me after reading it. I truly felt like living in a state of gratitude and awareness that week in Cancun opened up so many doors in my mind & took the blockers off from my eyes and I was able to see what I really wanted, finally! & it really was AWESOME. After that moment I wanted to always feel awesome. I didn’t ever want to feel bad about myself again. I believe that gratitude does strengthen your faith and the only way you are able to really make moves in your life, is when you have faith and believe that you can. & guess what…I DID.
I came home from that trip a completely refreshed and awakened soul ready to take on this world & manifest all the good into my life. It had inspired me to make the choice of living a life filled with compassion and love by becoming vegan, quitting my job, changing my environment and moving to a different state, and going back to school. I have done so many things over this past year I never thought I would do in a million years & here I’am today at the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been & I’m forever grateful! Align yourself with what you want & listen to your heart. Take those moments of intuition as a sign from your true self & follow the path your soul is begging you to take.
Open your eyes and wake up to this beautiful world around you! If you are living a boring and mundane life like I was…make the change! Pick up a book, meditate, connect with nature, surround yourself with more positive people, change your environment, something! anything! Push yourself to peel your eyes open and see what the universe is trying to show you. Honestly, I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t pay attention to the signs being thrown at me in that airport store and ended up not buying that book. It was just one of those moments I felt like if I didn’t do something out of my comfort zone…even as minimal as reading a self help book, something I thought I would never do…then I would be wondering “what if?”. Instead of just saying, “why not?”. If you are itching for that change…HERE IS YOUR SIGN. Follow it! Push yourself and make a difference in your life and see where this road takes you because coming from experience, the road is looking quite clear, beautiful, and filled with opportunity!