I used to think that surrendering would look a certain way in my life. That I would need to make a massive decision about something in my life that would lead me to fully surrendering, like the ever classic “I’ll surrender when BLANK happens”. Something drastic like up and quitting my job, forcing to fix a relationship with someone close to me, or simply trying to be in control of every minute detail in my life in order to surrender. When in reality, that is not the case and I don’t think I’ve ever truly grasped that, until now.
This past week has been a large test from the universe for me. It has called me into my emotions and challenged my trust and will to shift into the person and mentality I’m meant to step into. I was pushed so far in my triggers that I completely hit my breaking point. A ticking time bomb of emotions that needed to detonate for me to really understand who I was & accept who I am. Although this can of worms was the hardest for me to open, it was necessary for me to shift. To shift into true surrender. I have found after much reflection this week, that surrendering didn’t look like I thought it needed to look like for me. I was wasting time trying to control what my next move was, and overthinking my situation too much. I had been allowing my current life situation to consume my energy rather than truly letting it go, trusting myself, & fully surrendering to the universe. In fact, I learned that the only way to truly surrender, is through the acceptance of all that is. Let me say that again,
True Surrender is only through the acceptance of ALL THAT IS.
To really surrender, you need to have acceptance of all that is happening in the NOW. It’s taking that giant step back and facing your shit without any attachment. It looks like finally waking up one morning and feeling no emotion other than peace towards your current life situations. I noticed that the moment I began to accept all that IS in my life, everything felt so much lighter and easier to flow through. I found that the moment I stopped trying so hard, I was able to relax and really let myself heal. I’ve turned over the sense of control to the universe and have just allowed myself to be. To truly be WITHIN myself and it has been so liberating. I have finally found stillness within myself and have just now started to really feel myself shift within this process. When you surrender you don’t feel anxiety, stress, or attachments to the outcome which allows you to let life fall into place. It brings that sense of inner peace and opens the doors for you to understand your own healing.
I began to notice the synchronicities around me and started becoming more in tune to the little signs from the universe guiding me with every decision I found myself needing to make. I found my intuition was so much louder and there was not as much mind chatter surrounding it. If there was that little parasite that lives inside my ego in the back of mind trying to overpower my own voice, I got really good at telling it to shut the F up. It has been easier to take a step back, listen to my ego, understand where it is stemming from, & then pushing it to the side & saying, “I do not identify with this pain body. I’m choosing to not listen to the negativity and learn from my situation rather than let you push pain into me for it.” I have learned to put myself first and become a student of my own life. Finally, I feel like I can be a watcher of my thoughts and gain control over my situations with much ease simply by learning from all the past versions of myself that have brought me to my current life situation and this moment, now.
With this lightness that has finally surrounded my energy, did not come over night. Oh no, it took much practice. Much trial and error and a really hard look into every version of myself I have experienced through my years in life thus far. The art of surrender is not a glamorous process. Like anything, it comes with practice and it can get ugly. It can push you so far and have you face things you never thought you needed to heal from. However, it’s all a necessary part of your growth and if you’re committed to the process and the practice, than it will only be in your best interest to learn from. I believe I have been in this state of practice for sometime now and let me tell you, I’m still not completely there yet. However, I’m sharing this experience with you to showcase that with practice, you will start to really understand what this work can do for you. This inner work of self development and trust in YOUR process. I’m at a point that I now FEEL I have reached a new set point in my life. I have found the intersection between acceptance and change and boyyyyy do I feel the change coming on. Since I have experienced this new sense of inner peace and surrender, I have felt that I’m stepping into a new shift within myself stronger than I ever have before. It’s the craziest thing, I’ve never been here before and its so motivating.
With my deep awareness of the universe, my conscious being, and my connection to the present moment I feel myself on the cusp of this new version of myself and it feels so good! It’s a place where stress, anxiety, negative self talk, and control cannot live. The moment you throw your hands up and finally allow the universe to not only take the wheel, but drive the whole damn car while you chill in the passenger seat with your faith, is the moment you really begin to shift. You will KNOW when you have gotten there. Many gurus, personal development teachers, and spiritual entrepreneurs that I follow on a daily basis always talk about the space of knowing when you’re ready. Feeling the difference in your own shift. I have never experienced that until now. It’s lighter, peaceful, & full of trust. It’s allowed new and exciting opportunities to manifest in my life in so many different ways just in the little time I have been in this space. It has brought me to a new sense of self. A space where I put myself first, fill my own cup first, and heal from anything that did not serve me from my childhood so that I can show up fully for myself & stand firm in my truth.
Be present in the now. Allow yourself to truly feel everything you need to feel. I began to shift once my life situation pushed me so far off the edge that I was forced to be faced with all my shit and trust me, it’s the best thing that has happened to me in my growth so far. Accepting your shit for what it is, having the knowledge that there is nothing in your power you can do to change it in the present moment, allowing yourself to come to terms with whatever outcome manifests from your situation without attachment, becomes your first steps into acceptance and surrender. Use a little visualisation and project your desire into your future, give it to the universe and release it. TRUST ME when I say that everything will begin to fall into your lap. You will start to notice your path and you will FEEL the guidance. The more positive your view of what you’re seeking, the faster it will come. Surrender to what is. Everything in this moment, right now, is exactly what is supposed to be. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. The moment that TRULY resonates, is the moment you allow surrender to be apart of your story. Acknowledge who you were and move into who you’re meant to be. Surrender to YOUR process & be patient with your outcomes, it will all be worth it.
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