26 Things I’ve learned in 26 years
- francesca derviso
- Nov 12, 2017
- 16 min read
GUYS! Guess What?!
It’s officially November 11…which means it’s my BIRTHDAY! woot woot!
As I come into my 26th year of living, I thought I would create a post about 26 things I’ve learned at 26. I truly believe that this past year at 25, I have done the most personal growth ever. I have learned and experienced more things in this past year than I ever could’ve imagined. A lot of what I have learned up until now, I believe to have substantial value to my purpose and the human being I’m supposed to be on this earth. Age is just a number. It is that number that is attached to you telling the world how many years you have been alive on this planet. I believe our souls have been living a lot longer than this number perceives and at different points in our lives, we learn lessons that our soul was meant to learn in that moment.
With that being said….lets get into all the things I feel like I know now!….
Always listen to your intuition and go with your gut.
This is so important as you move forward in life. This was something as I was younger that I would consistently ignore. If I felt a bad energy about someone or a situation I never spoke up and changed it or took myself out of the equation. Big mistake. I felt like I did this a lot growing up because I wanted to feel accepted by my friends and not be the “uncool” one who doesn’t go with the flow or seems to chicken to be reckless. This is so crucial. Don’t let others control how you feel. If you feel like something is wrong in a situation than take yourself out of it. Be the stronger person and make the conscious decision to disassociate yourself with negative energy. This can also work in a positive way! If you’re trying to escape your comfort zone and the universe is trying to make you notice a certain someone or situation and you feel like it could be a good thing but fear tries to take over…don’t let it!! I can’t stress that enough. Just go with what your gut feeling tells you. There is a reason it’s there & we need to listen to it!
2. Your parents or guardians know what the hell they’re talking about.
No matter who you were raised by, whomever raised you, I’m 100% sure they were older and wiser than you and growing up you thought they were trying to ruin your life everyday! I’m sure everyone can recall getting angry at their guardian for not letting them go to the high school party because you had homework to do & all you did was argue and say, “BUT WHY” over and over and over again until you finally went to your room crying saying to yourself how they’re ruining your life! … lol this was sooo me. Well, news flash…they weren’t trying to ruin my life…they were trying to keep me on track. To this day I start to become closer and closer to my parents and realize all the things they tried to tell me to do when I was younger or teach me to do growing up was valuable information I probably should’ve listened to. I was to caught up in the, “I’m 18 now MOM I’m an adult and can make my own decisions!”…PSH ya right. I’m 26 now & I’m just now feeling like an adult. Don’t take those who cared for you growing up for granted. Everything they do and say is in your best interest because they have lived it WAY before you. Cut them some slack and trust me, you’ll need them every step of the way.
3. Everyone is not going to like you
Just remember that you’re unfortunately not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, & guess what? who cares! As you continue through this life, you’re going to go through so many different interests, changes, and stages of life and not everyone is going to like you. Even if you believe you are a likable person and there is no reason why someone shouldn’t like you…someone always will. Just wish them the best in life and don’t dwell on those who don’t understand you.
4. Friends come and go
You know how many “Best Friends” I had growing up…even in my early 20’s? SO MANY. You outgrow people just like you outgrow your favorite pair of jeans. Sometimes, people don’t stay on the same wavelength as you, and thats okay! Everyone’s journey is different. I truly believe that everyone you encounter in life serves a purpose for that time in your life. If they are someone who is meant to grow with you than you will remain friends for a reason. Let the people come and go out of your life. Be grateful for the lesson you learned while involving yourself with them, whether that be good or bad, and move forward. Accept that everyone won’t be around forever and trust that every connection you make and eliminate happens for a reason. To teach you a lesson or for you to teach a lesson.
5. Having puppies around is the best form of therapy
If anyone knows me, they know I’m OBSESSED with all dogs. All animals for that matter but with puppies, it’s just like something comes over me, my heart stops and becomes so full, I can’t breathe, I scream and start crying, and literally DYING over cuteness. I’m a little over dramatic when it comes to dogs. However, living at home and having my puppies around was the best form of therapy! They are just such pure innocent souls and all they do is embody love every moment of every day and I aspire to see life the way they do. Whenever I had bad days, they just knew. I would be crying on my bed and they would be right there to comfort me. If there is any advice I would give anyone maybe going through some hard times, or being alone, having a living, breathing, pure animal around will make the world of difference for your lifespan, your outlook, and your heart. (Just because I can’t resist, here are a few pictures of my puppies!)
6. Read more books
I never used to read as a child. Any book report I had to do I absolutely dreaded because for some reason I just couldn’t focus on ANYTHING. Every word I tried to read it was like I wasn’t retaining a damn thing but would look up from the page and have been so unfocused I would realize I knew what I wanted for dinner more than what that last paragraph said. My mind would just wander and I would find myself thinking of everything but what I was reading. I say this because I think now I know I just wasn’t reading the right material. Now, I’m a self help JUNKIE. I’m constantly reading self help books, spirituality books, nutrition books, blog posts, articles, you name it! Try to find what really interests you and stick your nose in a hard copy book. Knowledge is power and the more you know the better outlook on life you will have!
7. Stop Apologizing
Be unapologetic about your life. Stop saying sorry for every little thing like someone is going to murder you because you needed to squeeze by them to grab the almond milk off the shelf at the grocery store. (See what I did there? veganized the sentence! 😉 ) Anyways, try to focus on using your manners, like excuse me or thank you for waiting, instead of saying sorry for everything. Especially in life, if you don’t want to do something, say you don’t want to do it!! Don’t be sorry for not wanting to do something in your life….which brings me to #8
8. If you don’t want to do something SAY IT
If someone asks you to go out to the bar at 9:00pm but you’re comfy in your PJ’s next to your dog under the blanket watching Netflix…maybe with wine….or weed….or whatever & you are so happy with your life in that moment the thought of putting makeup on or getting into a different set of clothes that is not your PJ’s makes you nauseous then DON’T GO. Don’t say sorry and make up an excuse. You don’t owe anyone anything. This is your life and this is how you’re choosing on living it. Be unapologetic about your self care. If you need a day in, then say so.
9. You are who you surround yourself with
I truly believe this till this day. You will have a lot of different identity crisis’s in your life but the one thing that will contribute the most to the person you will become, is who you surround yourself with. Be sure you bring yourself around intelligent, goal oriented, dreamers. People who support you in all that you do and push you to succeed to your highest self. Don’t get yourself stuck with people who don’t want to grow up and live their life to the fullest. You are an amazing human being who was put here with a purpose. Surround yourself with those who support that purpose or challenge you enough to help you find it.
10. Eat your veggies
This is not just because I’m vegan. I’m being straight forward. Open your mind to other possibilities than just, meat = protein. Absolutely not. There is so much more in this world that you will learn and one of those is that modern taught nutrition is quite frankly so wrong. Just be sure you are not only eating your veggies, but you’re eating all kinds of veggies, not just broccoli. Be sure every meal is a variety of colors. I know as a child we absolutely HATED this…. at least I know I did….however, as your body gets older, you need to feed it the right kind of nutrition. Mind you, this isn’t just for your body, this is for your mind too.
11. Try not to compare your life to others
I know this can be really hard…I’m at fault for doing this WAY too often. However, I have been able to really get a grasp on being grateful for what is happening in my won life rather than wallowing in it because it’s not as great as the Instagram model I follow, or my close friend. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Always remember that. Your life is perfect in its own way and the sooner you are able to realize that, the easier your life will become. Look in the mirror and tell yourself all the things you are grateful for and see how many of those things you may mention most people are lacking all over the world. Be happy for others and continue to shine your light because you are doing a good thing and you are your own person. Don’t compare yourself because there is only one of them and one of you and you are perfect.
12. Move your body
Even if it literally 20 minutes a day. Get up and move your limbs. They are not meant to be stagnant at your desk chair or couch all day long. They are meant to be worked to the point where they’re sore for 3 days. Okay…not everyone likes to be sore…but really! That’s when you know you are making progress. Push yourself to your limits. Start with a small goal and gradually, at your own pace, turn it up a notch every week or two. Get yourself to a healthy way of living and everything about your mood and your life will change, I GUARANTEE it.
13. Do more yoga
If any movement has changed my life, it was yoga. Doing yoga is not only physical but its mental & spiritual. If you are having trouble moving your body and staying on a positive mindset or trying to figure our your purpose, I HIGHLY recommend it. It has shaped me to who I am today. It has taught me to connect with my inner self and learn so much more about the way I view my life. This is for men and women. You don’t need to be “flexible” to do yoga. You don’t need to be 100 lbs to practice either. Yoga is for EVERYONE. It’s for the inside, your mind, your heart, your soul. All you need is the intention and the action after intention. Intend on making a difference in your inner and outer world and make the conscious action by starting a yoga practice. This will truly open your eyes and give you such a sense of peace and serenity for your body and mind, inside and out.
14. It’s okay to change your mind
I started going to school for Sports Marketing and Media. Right in the middle of the biggest life transition and personal development shift of my life. I realized….I don’t really want to work in the sports industry anymore. I have adapted so many new interests and finally have become one with what I feel my purpose is on earth and its okay. Am I still continuing this school? Absolutely. Why? because its okay to change your mind. Getting an education in anything is valuable. I know there is a reason why I chose this degree and why I shifted my development when I did. Although it doesn’t suit my interest now, there will be purpose for it. Think of this when you realize you’re in the middle of something you don’t really want to learn anymore. Think that there is a reason the universe chose this path for you. Stick with it and then move on to the next interest. You’re only in your 20’s. There is so much more life and years ahead of you for you to continue your journey and make your next move. It’s okay to change your mind.
15. Be kind
For some reason, a lot of what I have seen on social media is a lot of girls posing in photos that look like they have a resting bitch face. Why? Why is being a “bitch” cool all the sudden? Instead, wear your smile. Make it your everyday accessory and be the one to say your please & thank you’s. You will go a lot farther in this world with an approachable face and a kind heart.
16. Never stop searching for your passion
find your passion and follow it. if there is anything i️ have learned so far in life, you will not find that passion in ‘things’. you will not find that passion in ‘money’. the more things and the more money you have the more you will look around and use that as your metric. your passion must come from the things that fuel your soul inside. what really lights you up? what drives you everyday to get you closer to your higher self? whatever it may be. become it and let it become you and you will find great things starting to happen for you, to you, because of you.
17. Do your best to be present
be present now. no matter the hurdles you have to jump, the overwhelming amount of negative self talk saying you can’t, or the negative human beings in your life telling you you shouldn’t, look up and be here now. take a breath, find your ‘why’, hold on to it tight, & move forward. each day is a new opportunity for growth even if that day is dark & challenging. being there in that space & accepting those moments as they come, in all it’s negative glory, will bring forth the positivity & light you’re searching for and make it all worth it. be present & enjoy living
18. It’s okay if you’re 26 & still single
This is an accurate description of me at the moment. Honestly I can say I haven’t really accepted being single until recently. Everyone, & I mean every single person I know right now is either in a strong relationship, engaged, married, or having children. I know it can be a lot when you know you have a lot of love to give but my biggest form of advice, do not settle. It’s okay to be single and to continue down your journey of finding yourself. Do not settle with someone who doesn’t absolutely set your soul on fire with happiness just to get ahead like everyone else. It will happen when you least expect it and it will be one of the greatest feelings you’ve ever felt, & you will never have to settle.
19. Save your money
Now this is huge. I’m the worst at saving money….the worst. However, I have come to learn that obviously it’s a good idea and buying those new pair of shoes that are worth $150.00 when you only have $300.00 in your checking account and entire 2 weeks until you get paid again is definitely NOT a good idea. Set up automatic transfers within your bank to start saving money without you having to think about it. What I’ve done is set up those auto transfers on the day I get paid twice a month and I transfer $100.00 every time. That’s $200.00 a month I’m putting into my savings blindly. At first I started with $25.00 and gradually moved up. Do your best to save too so later on you can buy MULTIPLE pairs of cute shoes 😉 … & your rent cause priorities.
20. Check your grATTITUDE
A lot of us in this life forget to be grateful. Especially when you grow up in the more lively cities like LA, New York, Toronto, etc. People have all the latest gadgets and clothes and accessories and everyone forgets to be grateful for not only the materialistic things, but for the people around them. As a result of this, a lot of people tend to be more rude and self centered. Don’t get sucked down this hole. Check your gratitude, Be grateful for everything that you have and don’t have yet. Continue to be a kind and receiving person and everything you are trying to manifest will present itself to you in a way that will make you appreciative. Whether that be taking action towards achieving a goal and when you do you are grateful, rather than finding a sneaky way to cheat ahead. Do your best to have a positive and grateful attitude towards others, your life, and the world.
21. Take a mental health day every once in a while
We all get caught up in work, school, family, friends plans, etc. And we become so overwhelmed and overworked we loose sleep, don’t make it to the gym, overeat, feel down on ourselves…you get the picture. Try to find time for YOU. Take a mental health day every so often. Use a vacation day if you have em, call out of work if you need too, cancel your damn plans you KNOW you don’t want to go to anyways, and just relax. Unwind. Do something…everything for yourself. All the things that make you happy, take the whole day to reset and recharge your batteries for the next set of life’s challenges. Remind yourself how strong you are because you were conscious enough to slow down and not push yourself to the limits. love yourself and give your mind and body some me time.
22. Keep your mind & your heart open
Be open to learning new things and new experiences. There will be a lot in this life that you will have learn is different that what you learned growing up. Be open to these new cultures, experiences, and people. Remember to always keep an open mind and an open heart. Even if it scares the living shit out of you, just say yes to anything and everything that your gut feeling is telling you you should do. Live life to the fullest and don’t let fear overrun your decisions. Push through it and love your life!
23. You know your life is approaching a positive shift when it feels like its falling apart
I know this sounds so contradicting but I have been there. The moment your life feels like its falling a part and everything and anything is going wrong right after another, this is where you know your approaching your shift. Life is going to test you. Life is not and never will be easy. It’s the way you hold your own and maintain your mindset that will determine your outcome. Stay optimistic and know that those moments are just the universe testing you to be sure you’re ready for all the glory you have been manifesting. It’s right there in front of you. You have to get through the storm before you can experience the bright and sunny day. Feel the sun against your skin and breathe the crisp air. You will get there, just keep pushing and don;t let anything break you down, remember the universe is working for you not to you.
24. Invest in your health
So many people in this world don’t see the positive in investing in your health. Not only do you need to eat right and move your body but you need to support your body with the right kind of supplements that will get you to your goals. I prefer always natural and vegan…obvi but they’re ESSENTIAL to your progress. Most people would rather skip meals and eat a salad everyday, drink a bunch on a social gathering on Saturday, and then have a whole cheat day on Sunday just to go back to starving themselves of the proper vitamins and nutrients throughout the week. I’ve been there, you will get NO WHERE with this mentality. Find a brand that supports your core values and is healthy for your mind and your body. Invest in it. Yes we know protein, BCAA’s, Creatine, Super greens, Super Fruits, they can be expensive when purchasing them from a supplement shop or network marketer (depending on the brand you choose) Trust me. I have never seen more improvement in my body and energy than when incorporating the right kinds of fuel into my body. I know it’s a lot at first but, it’s essential if being active and healthy is important in your life. Invest the money and and cut corners elsewhere. Your body is a temple, treat it with respect and feed it what it needs so it runs like it was designed to.
25. Breathe
Life can be overwhelming and crazy. Just remember to breathe through your experiences and challenges and it will become easier for you. Be conscious with your breath. If something is going wrong and you feel yourself having a freak out. Take a step back, close your eyes, acknowledge your feelings and emotions. Let them out if you need to. Cry, scream, yell, curse, go on tangents, whatever you need to get it out. Then, take 4-5 deep and long and meaningful breathes and tell the universe that you got this. You see what is happening, you acknowledge your fears, and doubts, and negativity. Do your best to turn it around right then and there by declaring your positivity and gratitude. Be the higher power and show the universe you can handle whatever is thrown at you because you are love and you know you will get through it. You know these are tests and you know the universe is watching to see how dedicated you really are. Breathe and let go of self doubt, negative back talk, and all the things that surround your brain with bad vibes. Take a look at your self from the outside and believe that you can breathe through anything that comes your way and believe that even so, you will be ok.
26. You don’t need to have it all figured out by 26
I honestly thought I was going to be having my first child by now. Clearly, that is not the path I’m supposed to be going down. I still have a lot of growing to do and a lot of things to experience in this world. Don’t freak out that you still have no clue where you may be in 10 years, let a lone what you’re having for dinner tonight. As long as you are trusting and enjoying the process the universe is unfolding for you, you will figure it out eventually. Just remember that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and the universe will guide you to where you most desire. You have to trust in it and enjoy your life day to day and know that when you radiate love, positivity, and good vibes, that energy will reflect back to you and you can have anything you want out of life. Enjoy your self and enjoy this gift of life you’ve been given.
So, Happy Birthday to me! I’am 26 and I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I know I’m being guided and that everything I want in this life will unfold for me as long as I trust in myself and continue to love and move towards the reality I want for myself.
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